we're chasing vodka with high fives
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He had one of those small greek statue penises
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
