dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
only if we run a train.
done.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
