I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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