Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
