Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
