i jhust puked up my retainher.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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