that's an acceptable place to lick
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize