what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just found a bag of teeth...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
