Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
