she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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