Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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