You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Two words: blizzard sex
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
