There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize