he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
