there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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