1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
