Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
