So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
