At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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