FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
