Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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