It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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