then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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