i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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