I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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