I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
