Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
