The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize