Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
