they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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