DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
