yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
