is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
