Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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