I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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