Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize