I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
