Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
