I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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