Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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