so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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