you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
