We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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