Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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