Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
