Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
