If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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