U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize