Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
