So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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