even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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