To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
