HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
