Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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