If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
