My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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