It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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