when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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