maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
