The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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