'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize