So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
