I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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