Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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